1. Hold your head high, and look others in the eye
2. Smile
3. Stop apologizing
4. Relax and be quick to laugh at yourself (but not at others!)
5. Dress in a way that indicates you have self worth
6. Use good manners (like saying please and thank you) as this is actually a mark of self respect
7. Expect other people to believe in you, and to see and appreciate your good qualities.
8. Before you know it, its no longer fake
wheRE WAS THIS ALL MY LIFE
How to do this if some of these things are hard for you:
1. You don’t have to make eye contact. General eye area or looking at the mouth (which I have to do to understand people sometimes) will work fine.
2. It okay if you don’t want to show your teeth.
3. Yeah you have to do this one.
4. Lean forward if you want to seem eager, lean back if you want to seem relaxed or in control. Not too far back or else you’ll seem like an asshole (which has its place) or you’ll flip your chair over (which doesn’t).
5. There is no one standard for this. Dress appropriately to the occasion. When in doubt go for “I’m running into my ex and I want to look great but not like I tried.”
6. Look, self-respect is important, but it can be hard to achieve. If you can’t do this or some of these other things yet, it doesn’t mean you don’t have self-respect, it just means you’ve had some difficult experiences, or need practice, or has a brain that works differently. Please and thank you are scripts you can learn, and it’s okay if they just feel like scripts right now.
7. Yes. Find whatever mantra you need internally to remember this. It is okay if it’s weird or feels like you’re having to remind yourself of really basic stuff (I have to do “I am a person” sometimes.) It’s okay to start at the beginning. It is okay to be a beginner.
8. Yes.
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